I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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