i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
