I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
