this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize