Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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