I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
