just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize