i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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