We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
