i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
