Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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