there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
meet me or not, i'm out of control
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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