I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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