Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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