Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize