Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
