How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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