margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
