operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
