Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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