she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
