are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
