she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
