...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am naked and annoyed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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