I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
