Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
