i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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