just come out here and I will go home with you...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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