Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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