He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
