when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You're like the curious george of whores
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
