The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I cut my penus on the lid.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
