Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
