he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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