Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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