all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
