Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
