It's like God shit irony all over that family
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Randomize
