Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The maid of honor just puked.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
