she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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