physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
