She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
