Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
