ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize