Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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