So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
