I can tuck mytits in my pants
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
