Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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