with your own penis?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
