Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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