His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize