hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
