the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize