So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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