currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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