I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
