no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
