Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
