1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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